Posted August 17, 2008 · Charles O
The following came by unsolicited e-mail. In obligatory fashion, I share (a slightly sanitized version):
[We Naija people] are, indeed, unique!
Angel Gabriel came to God and said, “I have to talk to you. I have some [Naija people] up here [in Heaven] causing [major] problems.
They are swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they’ve got Maggi sauce and Ogbono soup all over their robes; hamhocks, isi-ewu, cow-feet and bokoto bones are all over the Streets of Gold.
Some folk are walking around with one wing; they have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to heaven clean. There are soda [i.e., “minerals”, “soft drink”] bottles all over the clouds; some aren’t even wearing their halos, saying it doesn’t fit with their hairdos.
God said, “I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let’s call the Devil.”
The devil answered, “Yes? What the— … Hold on one minute.”
The devil later returned and said, “Yes Lord, what can I do for you?”
God replied, “Tell me, what kind of problems are you having down there?”
The Devil said, “Wait one minute,” and put God on hold.
After five minutes he returned to the phone, and said, “Okay, I’m back. What was the question?”
God said, “What kind of problems are you having down there?”
The Devil said, “Man, I don’t belieee— hold on, Lord”. This time the Devil was gone for fifteen minutes.
The Devil returned and said, “I’m sorry Lord, I can’t talk right now. These [Naija people] put the fire out, and now they are trying to install air conditioning! They even bribed my guys!!!”
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